A Year in the Life of a Playground Mother: A laugh-out-loud funny novel about life at the School Gates (A School Gates Comedy Book 1) by Barlow Christie

Author:Barlow, Christie [Barlow, Christie]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Bookouture
Published: 2014-06-09T04:00:00+00:00

Six

June

Penelope still seemed to be enjoying our walks each morning; I, on the other hand, had lost all enthusiasm. They were becoming tiresome and not just because of the exercise. The Friday weigh-ins were painful. We were beginning to get saddled with the Kensingtons’ most Saturday nights too as they didn’t appear to enjoy each other’s company very much any more. Penelope was always keen to get the ‘next date’ in the diary when they left and it was nearly always the Saturday after. Each weekend they would turn up with a bag of beers and tucked down the side of the bag were Rupert’s slippers.

Matt had built up quite a rapport with Rupert and they kept a running joke between them that they might as well have their own coat pegs with their names on in our cloakroom as they were here that often. One Saturday afternoon he ventured off to the local DIY store and returned with four coat pegs which he skilfully managed to fix to the wall just as they knocked on the door for our usual Saturday night get-together. They were genuinely pleased they had named coat pegs in the Shack, not realising that we were taking the mickey in the hope they would take the hint and allow us to spend a Saturday night without them.

Summer was upon us and the warmer days began to creep in. Penelope took this opportunity to suggest Saturday afternoon BBQs which basically comprised of more of the same antics but starting a few hours earlier. The children usually bedded down in the living room if they were feeling tired and Daisy could sleep for England.

The first Saturday in June was an eye opener for me. This is when I witnessed again Penelope’s competitive streak. June was the month – according to Penelope – that Little Jonny was going to win his Olympic medal. To be precise, not any old medal but an Olympic gold medal. This month is the month I pray for constant rain. Why would anyone wish for constant rain in June, I hear you ask? So primary school sports day would be cancelled.

During this annual event, the Petty Tedious Army (PTA) are out in full force, strutting their stuff and attempting to walk in their high heels over the school field. They look totally ridiculous in their floral numbers, big floppy hats and oversized sunglasses. Anyone would think they were attending Ladies Day at Royal Ascot, not the local village school sports day. I am amazed how seriously some mothers take it. I have first-hand experience of how competitive these mothers could be.

Penelope and Rupert were due to arrive at the Shack for a barbeque later that Saturday afternoon. The sun was shining, the chickens were clucking and the new ducklings quacking. I was sitting enjoying the sunshine in the garden, swigging a sneaky beer when I glanced down at the text that had just arrived.

I know we are due round at 4pm but is there any chance I can come at 2.

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